My poor baby is sick cont………….

We took him to the doctor and it was the quickest office visit yet. The dr. said he has a nervous stomach. He has lots of reasons to have one. It started last March when our friend/therapist was killed in a car accident. She meant a lot to our family. She went to church with us and even when she wasn’t seeing our kids I could call her any time I needed her. I really miss her a lot.

That was just the beginning of our year. In April my husband was in a very tragic accident. There were several several wrecks along that stretch of highway that day and traffic was slowing down so he started slowing down and needed in the other lane because his exit was coming up and at the exact moment he looked to see if he could get over a mini van caught on fire and traffic came to an immediate stop and my husband hit a motorcycle which hit 2 more……my husband went airborne and flipped our Tahoe at least 3 times. He was able to unbuckle and get out by himself. We were very blessed God truly had His hand on him that day. While at the hospital it caused our son to have flashbacks. When he has flashbacks it takes a lot out of him. If they are bad enough sometimes it takes several days for him to be himself again.

June the first we got a phone call and my husband’s nephew hung himself…..it was devastating to all of us. Again this caused more flashbacks for our son…..Oh how I wish I could take away his past. Take away all of the pain and the hurt…..it’s one thing for him to have been abused but for him to have to relive it really makes me mad. I teach him to forgive because I don’t want him to have bitterness in his heart….I want him to always be kind and have compassion. In July my husband lost a good friend in an accident………this is the first time our son had a blockage. He was really sick and we were really worried about him…..he said the good thing about being sick was that he wasn’t getting in trouble. He was being really good. At first they thought he was going to have to have surgery but lots of prayers and medicine it passed.

In August things took another turn in the wrong direction. My husband’s cell phone showed that the internet was running in the background so they arrested him and charged him with manslaughter and 2 accounts of 2nd degree battery…….God is helping us through but it did cause our kids to regress, but through this it has helped our kids to heal. Our oldest daughter had no empathy, no remorse……now has both. I believe when she realized how close she came to losing her dad it woke her up and made her realize how much she loves us. Our oldest we talked and he decided to open up to me more and share more of the flashbacks. We would talk about them and then we would pray. He had more flashbacks last year than he has had the whole 13 years that he has been with us, but now they have all but stopped. My husband had his pre-trial at the beginning of this month so I am sure that is what has caused him to get sick again. This has been a lot for us to handle much less someone so young……..so the good news is he should be fine in a few days………

And an added note please make sure you always turn your cell phone off if it is a smart phone while driving if you are by your self……

 

My poor baby is sick……

Today our oldest son is sick. Last July he had a blockage in the upper part of his colon, and was really sick for a few weeks. After a trip to the gastro doctor they said he had a lazy colon. He hasn’t had a problem since that time until last week.

I worry about him when he is just laying around and especially when he is being quite. He don’t complain about anything when he is hurt because his pain tolerance is high. That is one thing that children with RAD do. They turn off their pain receptors so when something is causing him this much discomfort I wonder how bad it must be.

When he was in the 4th grade I had decided that year he was at a new school and I wasn’t going to share everything with them. One day when I picked him up from school I was driving through the circle and he said I had to go to the nurses office today because I bit my tongue. I said oh that must have hurt let me see. So he stuck out his tongue and there was still a little blood on it and I said ouch and turned back to go. Then I thought as I always have over the years who this was  so I stopped and turned around and said let me see again. This time when he stuck out his tongue it was split open about an inch long and it was completely through in one place. I pulled back around so I could stop and find out what happened. He was playing soccer at recess and the ball was coming towards him and bless his heart he’s just like me when we are thinking hard about something we stick our tongue out and as he was about to catch the ball another child tried to kick it but missed and kicked him in his chin. The only reason that he went to the nurses office was because another child told a teacher. The school nurse just told him to rinse his mouth out with salt water and sent him back to class. His shirt was red so no one saw that there was blood all over it. To him it was no big deal. I would have just about died.

Children with reactive attachment disorder (RAD) are so amazing. Yes they make our lives unbearable at times yet they bring so much joy. Looking at our kids today almost brings me to tears because I am so proud of them. They have overcame many obstacles and have many more to go but He’s still working on them to make them exactly what He wants them to be……

Reflecting

I was reflecting today on our kid’s accomplishments. I am so proud of them. I was talking to another parent and I just looked at my kids and started smiling. Are we through all of the hard times with them? No, but they have made so much progress. I was thinking about our oldest and I get tears in my eyes. When we first got called about him on May of ’99 I was at the lowest point thinking we may never have any kids. I was so excited I asked the case worker how many other families they were looking at for him and she said none we picked your family. We started calling him every night. He had an awesome foster mom and she prepared him to come to live with us. She sent me a picture with him holding up a sign that said Arkansas or Bust……

One night as we were talking she asked me if they filled me in about his past and I said no that the only thing I knew was that he has psychosocial dwarfism. As she began telling me the things that he went through my hands started shaking uncontrollably. It is hard to believe that a child could survive so much abuse from being born addicted to drugs to being kept in a cage. Medical records says tortured to many scars to count…..scars from the top of his head to the souls of his feet and even inside of his mouth. He has had a fractured skull, broken arm, leg, and ribs. The list goes on and on. He is a survivor!

At the age of 5 he was DX’d as being severely retarded and the school recommended that we wait a year before putting him in Kindergarten. I wanted to go a head and let him start and if he couldn’t handle it then pull him out so they agreed. Not only did he do just fine but by the end of first grade he tested on his level on everything. The only thing he needed was speech.

Because of his abuse he has reactive attachment disorder (RAD), ODD, ADHD, PTSD, and childhood sexual abuse. Although we have gone through a lot with him he has healed a lot.The Lord has had His hand on his life from the time he was in his mother’s womb. I am thankful that he is serving the  Lord with all of his heart not just part of it. He believes that God has called him to the ministry. I know that God has got great things for him to do. He is going to take what was bad in his life and use it to give God all of the glory.