Update on Sarah……

It’s been a little over a month since her birth mom passed away. Just like everything else that has happened it has always taken her a few weeks before she would start acting out. This time of course she isn’t raging just being defiant so this is really huge as far as progress goes. I am broken hearted as I write this this because she has started telling me lots and lots of things that is hard to hear.

We knew after only just a few days with us that she had been hurt sexually but never in my life did I dream that she had been holding so much in for all of these years. It’s easy to see now why she didn’t trust us for so many years. So why is she telling us now?  This is only what I am thinking so if you have a thought about it please share your thoughts with me. I believe that either she was afraid her mom would get in trouble or that because she was told if she told anyone that they would kill her and her mom so she was probably protecting her.

Either way now that I know that she went through more than I ever imagined I can understand why she fought so hard to not trust us. I don’t think I would trust anyone either.

As you look at your child today it doesn’t matter how old they were when they came to live with you. It doesn’t matter if you think yes they went through a lot or I just don’t think they went through enough to justify why they are acting so bad. The point is we just really don’t know what they have been through. Even one thing happening to them is bad, I knew Sarah went through things just not to what extent. Her mother loved her but was mentally sick and just didn’t take care of her the way that she needed to and that is why yes I knew she was neglected but she did have a mom that loved her very much.

I would like to encourage you today to look beyond the fits and everything else that comes with RAD and try to look at why they may be doing the things that they are doing. My heart breaks for my daughter and I want to wrap my arms around her and never let her go, but at the same time she still is responsible for her actions. So I still have to follow through. I am still very proud of her even if she is breaking my heart and driving me crazy all at the same time………….

Patti