Archive | September 2013

Daily struggles

As I am sitting here trying to think of something really inspiring to say….hahahaha ok those that know me can stop laughing now. My heart is full and is at peace knowing that this too shall pass. As we go through our daily struggles sometimes it is really easy to lose our focus on things around us. Years ago when we were youth leaders in a church I took a white poster board and took a black marker and put a small black dot on it. I then asked what they saw on the poster board and no one saw the all of the white on it they only saw the black. I realize that when dealing with our children’s behavior’s that on a good day that black mark is much bigger than a little dot, but is that all we see? Can we not open our eyes just a little bit wider and see even a little bit of white? Maybe you can’t find that white in your child that has RAD on some days but what about other things in your life? Can you look really hard and find a little white that can help you keep going just one more day?

I just thought of this and I am going to do it. I am going to start writing down on a small strip of paper every time the kids does something good and then when it is just a really bad day or bad moment draw a slip of paper out and read it……. I think it will remind me of the good times and that there is hope. I am thankful that we have many more good times than bad times now.

Patti

Rehoming your adopted child………

Can you say WOW!!! There is a lot in the news right now about rehoming your adopted children. Although the two stories that I saw were very disturbing I feel that these are the exception. At least I pray they are………

At the same time parents are forced into a corner and sometimes have no where to turn to for help. Many don’t realize that in some states you can’t get help for your child unless you relinquish your parental rights……don’t want to do that and face abandonment charges? Well here’s the other option that parents are told…… if your child hurts one of your other children then the state can remove all of your children for failure to protect……..

About 4 years ago our daughter was 9 years old and was very violent. She wanted to kill us and we would find knives in her room that she intended on using on us. I couldn’t let her get more than a foot away from me because she would try to hurt the other kids. I was always able to keep our family safe until she started running away. Once she started going out her window then we no longer had that assurance that we were all safe including her….. She told me in great detail how she was going to kill me and we called her therapist and put her in a residential treatment center that night. We are blessed that we live in a state that we can get our children help a little easier….. the problem we have is that a treatment center only makes our kids worse if they don’t fully understand what RAD is…….

I know that there are families that are forced to make the heart wrenching decision to find a new home for their children. If you are faced with this decision make sure you are doing everything the right way. Hire an attorney. I understand that you are desperate but don’t let desperation cause you to make decisions that is going to put your child in danger. You love your child or you would have already given up. Take the time to make sure they are in a safe family……..

Patti