Archive | June 2013

Is this the same child that came to live with us 7 years ago?

Is this the same child that came to live with us 7 years ago??? When I was 16 years old I taught the 2 & 3 year olds at church and there was a beautiful little girl in my class named Sarah…..I loved her so much and I knew then that someday I would name my daughter Sarah…….but since we were adopting that was out unless we changed her name but I did get my Sarah……..and she is so beautiful and sweet……but……lol there was a day when……..oh my goodness…..she was beautiful but anything but sweet unless it was to other people. I look back over the last 7 years and see how much she has healed. When she came to live with us we had three good weeks and then ……..she tore up everything and ripped her door off of its hinges. She would scream for hours on end. Everyday when I picked her up from school the first thing I did was look and see if her teacher walked her out to me. Stealing food, did I say screaming??? Trying to hurt everyone, pooping in her room, peeing everywhere ………wanted to kill us and started hiding knives……

Now I look at her……is this really the same child? We were told that we may have to institutionalize her. We were told that she would probably not heal. Is this really the same child and my answer is yes and no…..it is the same body and the same beautiful face, but it’s not the hurt, damaged, scared little girl that came to live with us 7 years ago. She has healed so much. She loves me now. She tells me that when she thinks about me that it makes her heart feel funny………RAD reactive attachment disorder is a terrible thing and as we get caught up in the day to day behaviors it is hard and we get tired. We are told there is no hope, BUT there is hope. We know a man that can…..His name is Jesus and through Him all things are possible. It is through Him that all four of our kids that have RAD have healed or is healing. I give Him all glory.

Patti

I started on this a few weeks ago and I didn’t know that it had posted until I actually was able to get on line tonight. So I am sorry for those that only read part of what was on my heart………..

I’m so vain (at least I think I must be)

I’m so vain……♫♪…♫♪♪♫.♥♫•……I must think this song is about me…..LOL ok I don’t know that song except for that part…….but reading other parent’s post that have kids with reactive attachment disorder, (RAD) I wonder what is wrong with me……. am I vain and just think that I am good or what….I read about parents struggling with thinking they are bad parents ……. that they are doing everything wrong….but I on the other hand totally put the blame on my kids. I am quick to say that it is their fault…..LOL Do I make mistakes? Of course I do, but making mistakes does not make you a bad parent. Our kids require a lot from us and we have to search and search for things that work for our kids and when we find something we use it until it stops working……..if it takes us a month or longer to find something that works IT ISN’T OUR FAULT!!! So put the blame where it goes……and where is that? What I can’t hear you…..WHERE???? That’s right…it is little Johnny or sister Sue….they make their choices to follow the rules or not…….so pat yourself on the back and know that you are a great parent!!!

Think about it what normal parent has these rules……..Don’t pee in the litter box…..Don’t pee in the vent (especially if it’s on the ceiling)…….don’t pee on the mirror…..or in the toy box………and no peeing on your school work…..ok moving away from the peeing……lol how about no pooping in the middle of you bedroom floor……….no pooping in my Tupperware containers and then putting it under your bed……..or the little tikes caboose…….or no pooping in your dresser…….Now,  I am just getting started on a few rules at my house…….as you know there are many more…….

So then there is no going to the bathroom without permission and you have to get the toilet paper from me…….(nothing like stuffing toilet paper in the drain and leaving the water on)…..you can’t get a drink without permission……..you can not leave the living room……you can’t play in your bedrooms…….you can’t open a door without permission…..you can’t shut a door without permission…….Don’t eat out of the trash…….do not touch the pets……no whispering…….no tickling…..no hide and seek……no piggy back rides….no hiding knives in your room……..ok I know that’s enough…….so again I’ll ask you…….if it seems that nothing you do works does that mean that you are a bad parent……oh my goodness no…..if you didn’t kill your child for pooping and smearing it on the wall….hey you are a great GREAT parent…….

The definition of vain is this……Having or showing an excessively high opinion of one’s appearance, abilities, or worth…..So am I vain…..LOL Yes I am…..I have told my kids I am a great parent…..and you better thank God that I am because if I wasn’t oh my goodness…..you would be missing a few teeth……and you would be moved by now……So all of you beautiful super parents out there…..hold your head high and know that you are raising kids that not many other parents would even try to raise……HAHA Join me in the Vanity Club for kids with RAD……..

 

Proverbs  29:17 Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will  give delight to your heart.

 Patti