Archive | March 2014



Forgiven…… forgiven……

Forgiving someone isn’t always easy especially if it is a one way act. I have always taught our kids to forgive their abusers. Now that Sarah’s birth mom has passed away and she has told us many things that happened she has had a lot of anger and of course has acted out. We have prayed and she told me that she forgave her mom.

Saturday night the Hinson’s came to sing at our church and their daughter wrote a song about forgiving. Our 7 yr old daughter told me to look at her and when I did she had tears streaming down her face……I had her to come closer to me and she told me that when she said that she forgave her mom that she didn’t really do it and she couldn’t because she was dead. I asked her if she would like to write her mom a letter and we would tie a balloon to it and let her release it. She said yes so she did.

Sunday after church we went out to eat and then went to the store to buy a balloon. My great niece was having a birthday party (at least we thought lol) so we bought a balloon for her too. I texted my niece and told her we were running a few minutes late but was on our way. She asked me where we were going….LOL so we were a week early better than being late….There is a point in me telling on myself ….

We got home and we all gathered around her and we prayed over her letter that first of all Sarah could forgive her mom and let go of her anger but we also prayed that the balloon would land where ever it was supposed to. I could tell she had a lot of emotions running through her mind because I could see it on her face….I asked her if she was ready…..she said she was and held up the balloon….I said ready set go….she released the balloon and it went plop…right to the ground….I told you I was telling on myself for a reason….isn’t it amazing how God takes care of the little things for us….if I hadn’t thought that my niece’s birthday party was that day we wouldn’t have bought her a balloon and then Sarah couldn’t have released her balloon…so we tied another balloon to it and she released it. She watched until it couldn’t be seen and then fell into my arms crying…

Only time will tell if she was able to let it all go……but I do know that it was a giant step in the right direction……


Forgiven by Jordan Honea the late Kenny Hinson’s granddaughter


Can you hear me now???

Can you hear me now???

I finally figured out what our son is doing……. he’s trying to get better cell phone service …..he needed more bars …..

I posted this in one of the RAD support groups last night and it is amazing at how many have walls just like ours……

We don’t even let him stay in his room when he is mad so when he does this he is in complete control……so the question is why does he do it……..

Reactive attachment disorder is so complex……we all have so many why’s……. it’s not just the holes in the walls …’s the doors pulled off the hinges or the shattered windows…..or peeing on the ceiling or in the vents or closets or anywhere other than the toilet…….

it’s constantly stealing food although there is no way they could still be hungry….or ripping their clothes…..oh my the cussing……

The list goes on and on….it’s hard to believe that the little angels that sit in the pews at church being perfect is destructive and can be so violent at home.

So why? Why are they like this? Past trauma they just can’t seem to get over it. They smell something….they hear something….they taste something……they see something……

Jordan was doing really good until my husband’s wreck and that along with other things really rocked his boat. I believe that he is afraid of losing me so it easier on him if he just tries to push us away……….then he don’t have to face rejection.

So what do we do as parents? Did I just ask that? Surely you don’t expect me to answer….LOL

Well as you can see by the Can you hear me yet I use humor…….I also first and foremost PRAY!!!! I pray and then I pray some more……. I keep him close to me. I try not to over react when I see a new hole or the many other things that they do. What good is that going to do? It’s going to make me have stroke or heart attack……it’s going to cause hatred to grow in my heart… is going to cause many more gray hairs……it’s going to cause…well I’ll let you fill in the blank.

Ok so I am busted…..I have a lot of gray hair….LOL I also get very stressed even if I don’t react…..ok so I’m not perfect….I have even not liked him. Yes like is different than love…..I have never stopped loving my kids no matter what they have done and it’s not that I have not liked them but I sure haven’t liked their behavior. I think another big thing that helps me is to not take anything personally.

Well I am out of time so all in the day with Jordan….I will say this it is 5:03 pm and he hasn’t had any major meltdowns yet…whoo hoo…….


A hole in the wall………..

A hole in the wall...........

I reposted this from

I always try to post something positive on here because we have so much negative in our lives as it is and we want to lift y’all up and encourage you. We still have our struggles even with all of the good so today I am going to give you a glimpse of one of our struggles. I know that it is going to improve. So you can follow me on our journey with our 10 year old……..

Jordan came two live with us when he was only 2 and a half years old. We were his 5th placement in 5 months. He was a head banger, he would bite himself, scratch and pinch himself and pull his hair out……

When he was in the first grade his behavior was worse. He was put in the behavior class and from there we put him in UAMS Children’s Diagnostic Center which was a 10-15 day program where they take them completely off their meds and dx them……they never got him completely off his meds and he was there for 45 days and left a team of doctors and therapists shaking their heads. Of course that made him worse. He was sent to the intensive behavior school. Which made him worse. He was 6 years old and I was looking for a rtc because I couldn’t handle him.

When school got out his behavior completely changed. So I decided to homeschool him. He didn’t even know his ABC’s because he was in a constant rage…..homeschooling has gone great. He stopped raging. Until…….my husband had his wreck 2 years later……and leaving him he regressed… it went on he regressed more and more……

So here we are two years later…..issues with the wreck are over and I know longer have to leave him. He has improved a little but is still very violent and destructive. The hole in the wall is because I was busy and he wasn’t minding so I put him in his room and turned the alarm on so we would know if he came out….so the hole was so he wouldn’t set the alarm off……

So here we go……looking forward to the day I can say he has healed like our oldest son Frankie……