It’s been a little over a month since her birth mom passed away. Just like everything else that has happened it has always taken her a few weeks before she would start acting out. This time of course she isn’t raging just being defiant so this is really huge as far as progress goes. I am broken hearted as I write this this because she has started telling me lots and lots of things that is hard to hear.
We knew after only just a few days with us that she had been hurt sexually but never in my life did I dream that she had been holding so much in for all of these years. It’s easy to see now why she didn’t trust us for so many years. So why is she telling us now? This is only what I am thinking so if you have a thought about it please share your thoughts with me. I believe that either she was afraid her mom would get in trouble or that because she was told if she told anyone that they would kill her and her mom so she was probably protecting her.
Either way now that I know that she went through more than I ever imagined I can understand why she fought so hard to not trust us. I don’t think I would trust anyone either.
As you look at your child today it doesn’t matter how old they were when they came to live with you. It doesn’t matter if you think yes they went through a lot or I just don’t think they went through enough to justify why they are acting so bad. The point is we just really don’t know what they have been through. Even one thing happening to them is bad, I knew Sarah went through things just not to what extent. Her mother loved her but was mentally sick and just didn’t take care of her the way that she needed to and that is why yes I knew she was neglected but she did have a mom that loved her very much.
I would like to encourage you today to look beyond the fits and everything else that comes with RAD and try to look at why they may be doing the things that they are doing. My heart breaks for my daughter and I want to wrap my arms around her and never let her go, but at the same time she still is responsible for her actions. So I still have to follow through. I am still very proud of her even if she is breaking my heart and driving me crazy all at the same time………….
Patti
Adoptmomof6's Blog 
The only thing I can do is suggest is to tell you to do your best and when you can’t figure out what to do with her situation or with any situation that involves her or yourself is to just let God know and let him know you can’t handle it to much anymore and he will give you the courage to be able to deal with it, if you need to deal with this personally he will give you the courage and strength to deal with it. If you don’t need to deal with it personally he will figure out a way to deal with it by himself. He always does what is best for you and your loved ones. When you give your worries and concerns to God if it’s to hard to deal with it, things turn out the way he wants it to and that is the best way for it to turn out anyways in all situations. Because after all he knows what we’ve been through in life, he knows where were headed, and he knows where and when were going to do things. He has our whole life planned out before we are even a twinkle in our parents eyes. And I know your probably saying how can he do something with the mess my child is in, it may not be her he’s trying to teach it maybe somebody else he’s trying to teach and he is just using her as a tool. And we don’t know how many lives she touches daily. But I know one thing, I touch more lives daily than I will ever know. You just have to remember without you she wouldn’t be half as in control as she is, so thank God for people like you, thank God for people like you that take in the less fortunate and try to turn their life around for the good. If you have any questions over what I just tried to explain to you, you can always contact me and I will try to explain it better but can’t guarantee it will be any better. You know what they say sometimes you just have to go with the flow. and let the spirit guide you, as I have done here. I don’t know if I even have the wisdom to explain any better than I already have but I will try if you need me too.
You said it just fine ….. our steps are ordered by God ….. the only way I can possibly make it is to trust in Him ….. He never leaves us ….. if we allow Him he will take things in our lives that are bad and allow great things to come from it ……. thank you
Awwe God bless precious Sarah. So sorry Patti. hang n there and be strong for her because she needs you during this time. it will be difficult for the both of you but you will both pull through this. love Meamie. <3333333333333333
She is one strong young lady!