If that was my kid…… have you ever heard that or even better have you ever said it. I remember way back when if I saw a kid acting up or being disrespectful to their parents that I would say there is no way if that was my child they would act like that…….well…..
That was me. I was clueless……I was uneducated. Sure there are lots of kids that act that way because they aren’t made to mind, but then there are kids like mine that has childhood trauma that causes extreme behaviors.
Yesterday was one of those days that I was wishing for one of “those” people that thinks if they had a child for a week they would change them. Oh my goodness that made me laugh again.
The problem with that is a week wouldn’t be long enough. Most kids have that honeymoon period which can last for several weeks or longer. I don’t think our 14 year old would take that long but our 13 year old would. Also You have to consider that many of us parents that have traumatized kids (RAD more specifically) have grasped at straws on what to do so we are stricter than most people will be. Our kids would be in Heaven until they started destroying your home or your possessions or hurting your pets or kids. Then things would start changing.
At this point though Hey if you think you can change a child in a week I could really use a vacation. LOL I know you can’t change them that quick and I know you will think that I’m a horrible parent because “with you” they are so wonderful but hey a break would be worth it so just holler……lol I can pack their bags really fast…….
As parents that have children that have little to zero empathy we long to see the tears that show that they finally have some, but at the same time we don’t want them to hurt. So that makes it hard on our hearts.
Our 13 oops today is her birthday so she is now 14. She had zero empathy. She would point and laugh at people that got hurt or was in a wheelchair. She thought it was funny when someone else was upset over something.
She finally has empathy. Even though I know she is hurting it still brings a smile to my face knowing that she cares. Our pastor asked her to sing a song at church and afterwards he went on and on about her singing. The following week he passed away. A few weeks later we were at home singing and the song that she sung that morning came on and she just started crying and our youngest daughter started crying. Not only did Sarah have empathy but she held Miah. A few years ago she would have just laughed at her for crying but she took her in her arms and held her.
In some ways this picture breaks my heart, but in other ways it makes me smile. No one wants their kids to have a broken heart, but more than not wanting them to have a broken heart we as parents don’t want them to have no feelings.