If that was my kid…… have you ever heard that or even better have you ever said it. I remember way back when if I saw a kid acting up or being disrespectful to their parents that I would say there is no way if that was my child they would act like that…….well…..
That was me. I was clueless……I was uneducated. Sure there are lots of kids that act that way because they aren’t made to mind, but then there are kids like mine that has childhood trauma that causes extreme behaviors.
Yesterday was one of those days that I was wishing for one of “those” people that thinks if they had a child for a week they would change them. Oh my goodness that made me laugh again.
The problem with that is a week wouldn’t be long enough. Most kids have that honeymoon period which can last for several weeks or longer. I don’t think our 14 year old would take that long but our 13 year old would. Also You have to consider that many of us parents that have traumatized kids (RAD more specifically) have grasped at straws on what to do so we are stricter than most people will be. Our kids would be in Heaven until they started destroying your home or your possessions or hurting your pets or kids. Then things would start changing.
At this point though Hey if you think you can change a child in a week I could really use a vacation. LOL I know you can’t change them that quick and I know you will think that I’m a horrible parent because “with you” they are so wonderful but hey a break would be worth it so just holler……lol I can pack their bags really fast…….
This year we made up our mind for this to be the year to draw closer to the Lord. We decided that we would have family devotions and prayer like we used to do. Somewhere down the road we stopped. Probably because there was so much drama from the kids. I am so proud of our kids as we start praying they start calling out names of people we have been praying for. We made a prayer chain (paper chain) each link has a name or family or a need that we need to pray for. We go through the prayer chain and call out each one and pray. Tomorrow we are going to make a praise chain as the prayers are answered they will be moved to the praise chain. We already have so much that we need on the praise chain from this past year.
We are so blessed even when we go through hard times. This past year was an extremely hard year. Probably around Oct. Nov. things started catching up with my husband missing so much work and no vacation time. One week when we weren’t quite sure how we were going to buy groceries we were blessed with a really big box……One week after making a deposit we had $150.00 to make it a week on gas and groceries for a family of 8 . I knew we could manage until I realized that I had another bill that had to be paid so that left us $50 not so good…….I had gotten a call to stop by someone’s house they said they had a turkey for us I cried all the way there but when we got there it wasn’t just a turkey but it was also food it was enough for us to get through the week…….so now Christmas is coming up ……I knew we had no money to buy Christmas presents but I did have a little bit of credit with Fingerhut and so I knew that I would just divide it between the 6 kids…it might not be what they want but they would have something…..LOL I’ll do this again…..one gift I got them was a waffle iron and we were going to wrap it after the little ones went to bed and Frankie saw it and he started yelling he was so excited and Jacob heard him so from then on those 2 begged us to let them open it early. So next year I will see what I want and get it for everyone. I can see how this can work in my favor…..lol
Anyway I got a message from someone and they said that they had heard that we had a rough year and I said yes we had and they said that every year they pick out a family to help for Christmas and wanted to help us. I told her that our kids would have something but any way they helped our family……we thought 1 or 2 gifts but no when they came over they kept unloading gifts and kept unloading gifts……The amazing thing was the things that they got them that they either wanted or I wanted to get them…..like for instance I had a Minnie Mouse hoodie and a shirt and a skirt in my shopping cart at littlemissmatch it was on sale and wasn’t much but I still couldn’t get it…….and they got her an outfit like it…….she wanted a Barbie head and they got her one…….Jacob told me he wanted an air hockey table and I told him maybe later but we couldn’t get it for Christmas but he got one……Oh my goodness I am crying thinking about it….there were other things that they wanted that they got…….Yes it’s a little embarrassing putting it out here that we were struggling BUT I want everyone to know that God is so good……and He has continued to meet our needs and will continue to do so as we go through this…….We plan on being back on the giving end this year it’s much easier…..but through it all our kids saw how God will meet our needs so as embarrassing as it might be for us I believe it was a good experience for our kids.
The things that happened to us last year could have destroyed our family because of the stress, but I give all the glory to God for helping us through. We are not to the end yet but we will get there and God will get all of the glory . It hurt our kids some regressed some I believe it helped them to realize just how much they did love us and let go just a little more of their heart. Our daughter told me one night “mom my heart feels funny when I think about you” and this same daughter just a few years earlier wanted to kill us and we found knives in her room and other places where she would hide them. So sometimes God allows us to go through things but gives us the strength to get through them. I praise God for our kids and especially because He has helped them to heal……….