Here I go again

Here I go again…….I really have had good intentions of writing, but it sure has been busy around here. So I am usually busy or to tired. I am not able to get my lap top out very often and the one time I did my 12 year old tried to break it….again. Just as I thought I might have a minute to write my time just got very limited.

I have an older blog about walking on egg shells and that is how we live……EVERYDAY!!! If I make a mistake and do something wrong or out of order then our son explodes. The problem with that is I make countless mistakes and it doesn’t matter what it is. Any little thing is huge.

Thankfully it is summer and we get to sleep in on most days, but my alarm goes off at 5:15 am for my husband to go to work and he leaves at 6 am and after that my alarm is set to go off every 30 minutes to check on my son. When he moves we get up. Then most of the day is one battle after another. I definitely pick my battles and let many things go, but it is still one battle after another. Many days until bed time.

The good news is…..LOL. Every night he makes the decision that tomorrow is going to be a great day. Some days he makes it 30 minutes before he doesn’t get his way about something. Some days he don’t make it 5 minutes.

More good news is he can control it. We were going out of town and he was going to stay with a friend because of his behavior. He straightened up really fast. He barely got in trouble for anything and when he did he took his consequence like he should. So he went with us. He was great until we were on our way home and then it began again. It is great that he can control his behaviors because there was a time when he was younger that he couldn’t control it.

Now the hard part……

What do you do when you have a child that is almost 13 that says you are not his boss and he will not do what you tell him to do because he is going to do what he wants?

What to you do when the same child spits in your face?

What do you do when the same child tells you to shut up ________ _________?

What do you do when same child tells you he is going to kill you with a butcher knife?

There are more questions that I could ask, but I think you get the picture.

Ok one more…….

What do you do when a treatment center isn’t an option? We know that a treatment center will cause more damage. Ask any parent that has a child that has RAD. Then our son is even more complicated because he has other issues besides the RAD.

The answer to all of these questions is you pray. You read the Bible and you pray, and then you read your Bible and pray some more. You go to church to draw strength and you have family prayer at home and you press in.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

There are times that I send out a SOS because I need extra help right then. Without fail God always hears me cry for help. I always feel peaceful…….BUT why do I wait to send out an SOS when I’m at the end of my rope. Yes I put on my whole armor every morning and yes I pray and read the word.

Matthew 11:28-30

28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

It doesn’t say come to me when you are at your wits end when you can’t go any farther. It just says come and I will give you rest.
So for now that is my answer. I know a treatment center isn’t an option for now. I also realize as he gets bigger that it may become an option, but until then God is my refuge in this storm……

4 thoughts on “Here I go again

  1. I am so sorry, I know what your life is like because I once lived a similar life. If you go to my blog I have an email contact and I would love to chat with you. If you feel up to it. Blessings! Sandra

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