The holidays are always hard, but this is the first Christmas that our oldest daughter isn’t legally our daughter. She will always be our daughter in our hearts.
Last night our 9 year old daughter looked at me and said she missed her sister and started crying so I held her for a while and we both cried. I assured her that one day she will be back and she asked me how I knew that. I told her faith……I believe that God will bring her back to us some day. I’m glad she knows and understands what faith is. She knows God loves her and will give her the desires of her heart……which is to have her sister back.
She went to put on her pajamas but many belonged to her sister and she wanted to throw them away. So we started throwing them away. My heart was crushed as I watched her shake her head no to her pajamas and raise her thumb up saying they had to go.
It’s hard enough going through the hurt of losing our daughter but even harder watching as our youngest child was hurting so bad. I am so proud that even though she has been so hurt through her sister and all of her past trauma that she consistently wants to adopt when she is grown. I am thankful that we have a lot of positives mixed in with all of our heartbreaks.
Once again I know I say it a lot, but knowledge is power. Even in the last few months we have learned so much and with each thing we have learned I know that if we had of only learned it sooner then just maybe we would still have our daughter.