November is National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month and with many it brings a lot of different emotions. I love adoption but I also understand the heartache that comes with it. When someone adopts there has been many things that led to the adoption. Many times lots of heartaches. Our kids didn’t want to lose their bio parents. It hurt them. It doesn’t matter if they were abused they still loved their parents. In our kids situations their parents made choices that will in some way affect our kids for the rest of their lives. God has helped and is helping our kids to heal, but it has been a very difficult road. It also led to us having to disrupt one of our daughter’s adoption. This year my heart has been broken. I told her that it would be forever but it wasn’t………

We are not the only family that has had to make the heart wrenching decision of disrupting an adoption. For many parents when they hear the word adoption it’s all they can do to keep from screaming RUN don’t do it…….I will always encourage people to adopt, but I will also use that opportunity to educate people. The reason for most failed adoptions is because of lack of training. First the adoptive parents didn’t have the training that they needed on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), and when they finally stumble upon help and get educated then everyone they come in contact with is clueless from social workers to teachers to psychiatrists. There is no help and when we are forced to put our children in a residential treatment center it is like sending them to camp. Our kids know how to work their little programs so instead of getting help it makes them worse. I don’t blame families for being scared of adopting because it’s hard.

This month when you think about National Adoption Month remember to try to reach out to someone and educate them. Remember adoption comes with a lot of wounds. It may be that birth mom that loved her child so much, but knew she couldn’t care for her child is hurting every time adoption is mentioned or the child that lost their parents or the adoptive parent that is hurting every day as they are trying to pick up the pieces of their child as they reject the love that they are given.

I love adoption!!!! I love all 6 of our kids very much and although it has been hard I would do it again.

Not all are called to adopt, but all are called to care……..

Patti

 

 

 

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