Ok here goes……….
I stopped writing on my blog because our daughter regressed and our world fell a part once again. The reason I started blogging was because I wanted to offer people hope. I was able to blog about how our kids were healing and doing good.
When she regressed I felt like I could no longer offer hope.
Not all adoptions works out. We do the best we can. We pour our heart and soul into our children but try as we may we cannot force them to make the right choices. I never thought I would be in the place that we are in today. I never thought we would disrupt an adoption. I thought we would go to the end. Sometimes that end is not up to us. Sometimes we just have no choice.
I know in my heart that we did all we could do. Bottom line is that our daughter wants to live with her bio sister. I don’t blame her for wanting that. I wasn’t about to give up on her though ……RIGHT……. so she forced us to. We weren’t safe whether it was physical attacks or making false investigations she knew what she wanted and pulled out all of the stops.
As of today our daughter is once again in foster care. Her bio sister will have her home opened so she can go live with her. When our daughter is ready I will be here for her but until then I have to let go. She lived with us for 9 years. I know that we taught her right and I know that the time she spent with us she learned how to pray and how to read her Bible and serve God. She also learned to have empathy and remorse. Even if all of that was thrown out the door I still know that it is there.
Tonight I have cried buckets of tears but at the same time I am relieved. No parent should have to go through this. So now it’s time for our family to start healing. God is with us and will help us.