Walking on egg shells

Breathe in …….breathe out……..breathe in……..breathe out……..breathe in…………………………………………………….oh yeah breathe out……….

Do you ever have those days that you are just walking on egg shells around your kids? I know that was a crazy question. It seems like many times we are doing this very thing. We have been doing it a lot more lately. It seems like it is constant. Our 14 year old daughter has really been struggling the last few months and even more the last three weeks. Since her bio mom died things just keep coming out that she went through. Every where we go there is a memory. All of a sudden some of my perfume that used to not be a problem now triggers memories.

When does it stop? When do the memories stop? I know you have the same question and no answer either except we know that with time and with the help of the Lord they will get easier to handle and they won’t hurt so bad.  A few weeks ago she decided to cut her hair again for the third time. We had all scissors put up but she had a great day so I let my guard down and let her get her own things to get ready to take her shower and she got a razor and shaved the back of her head. She began ripping her clothes completely off and cussing. Now this is a child that for two years did wonderful and had healed so much and it was so nice to say that she no longer did the things that she used to do. She loved God and instead of trying to hurt everyone she would try to take care of them. She had remorse and empathy.  So now where did my daughter go that took 6 years to see love radiating from her eyes. Where did my daughter go that loved the Lord and would go around singing worship songs to Him. Where was she???????

Who is this child that now sings rated R songs and acts like a stripper? Who is this child that looks at me with hate? Who is this child that it’s been recommended for us to put her in rtc, but I said no because I know that it will only hurt her more?

I’ll tell you who she is………she is a child of the King!!!

So that brings me back to walking on egg shells…….today is the 6th day that she has not had a major raging fit. We are doing a lot of praying! Every little bit I’m having her to apply the blood of Jesus to cover her from head to toe and asking Jesus to help her to obey and asking Jesus fill her with peace so her fear will leave.

Has this been easy? Of course not! Every time she smarts off or does things that she knows that she isn’t supposed to do I want to go off on her which is why I am taking a lot of deep breaths. LOL Have I yelled at her? Of course but I quickly tell her to pray, and she is doing it. She is making it. She knows she will still get a consequence for her actions, but she is starting to keep it together again. I am still seeing anger and frustration in her but I am not seeing the pure hate. This was just another huge bump in the road. A really big one!!! I am believing that she is back on her way up!

Patti

 

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8 thoughts on “Walking on egg shells

    • I would love to be on your prayer list! Thank you……… I am really proud of her. I can’t imagine being any age and going through what she is going through much less going through it so young ……

  1. Prayers for you! I can only imagine how difficult it is, but you have the right idea, hold onto God. He is the one who sees the end from the beginning and knows your (and her) every struggle and heartache. Being 14 years old is no picnic for ANY child. It is not an easy time for ANY parent. But add any kind of past trauma to that equation and you have to have super hero strength and endurance. And you have that. How can I say that when I don’t know you? Because you have Jesus! You can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you. Hang in there. ❤

    • Thank you ……He’s the only way we have made it this far. We have started singing a lot of scripture songs too and leave worship music playing 24/7 that way the name of Jesus is constantly being said in our home ……

  2. Hormones play a lot in the emotional state that our kids with very complex issues go through. It will take time for it to calm down but eventually it will. It’s the not knowing when that drives us crazy because as you said, not only egg shells but thin ice too. Keep praying and hang in there! There will be an end to it and you both will find freedom to breathe again.

    • Well she didn’t make it the 6 days she had a pretty good fit but she’s ok again now she’s cleaning up her mess. This too shall pass ……. thank you……

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