My Life is a Roller Coaster


I wake up and my stomach is a little queasy because I know that I am going to get on the roller coaster………as I am standing in line in front of it I see it…….. I feel it shaking the ground……I hear it…it’s so loud……I hear screaming….my stomach is in knots……my knees are starting to feel a little weak……at first it is a smooth ride then I see it slowing climbing that hill ….oh goodness then in an instant it is a straight drop off….it’s going fast now…..oh phew …oh wait I didn’t see that sharp curve…or that loop…..oh my another loop ….uh…..I… I…. I think I am going to change my mind and I’m not getting on this one……..sigh I can’t not get on…….it is my life……sometimes each day I get on it first thing in the morning and other times I don’t have to get on it until night….other times I stay on it all day long………thankfully sometimes I don’t have to get on it any more (although I have been on it today LOL).

When we adopted we knew that we were adopting children that had been hurt, but we were clueless about reactive attachment disorder (RAD). LOL and so were the case workers, and CASA , and even the therapist…..every one said lots of love and time…..yes time to drive me nuts LOL. So many people think that there is tons of support for adoptive families, but there isn’t. You are on your own unless you are blessed to have workers that understand RAD and that is very rare. Once we had kids with RAD it took me two years to stumble upon a forum that had a support group for RAD and it was the mom’s there that taught me what to do and where to go for resources.

Our children have healed a lot and I don’t miss the roller coasters that I used to get on every day….some were just small ones while others where the really big ones and the person that stops it went on a very long break……for all of you parents that still get on the roller coaster more often than you would like….hang in there….it does eventually come to a stop.



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