As time progresses and your kids have healed and you start getting a little more comfortable not worrying about certain things, like being investigated. So many foster/adopt families have gone through at least one. It is scary and when you live with children that have reactive attachment disorder those chances increase. I know families that have lost their kids or been arrested and some have lost their jobs.
Our last investigation was 3 years ago. Our 6 year old came home from school with a black eye but it was so faint that when I tried to take a picture of it you couldn’t see it. I didn’t say anything because his fits of rage were so bad and it wasn’t his first and I knew it probably wasn’t his last one and we could never get a straight answer from him about anything. Little did I know that the next day we would be under investigation. Of course they got a straight answer (right). The school said that he told them that his dad hit him. The investigator told us what was reported was a blackeye and the child said his dad hit him and he was covered in scratches and bruises and had a hand print on his face. He said there wasn’t anything there and he asked them where are they. So the investigation was unfounded that day.
This was less than a week before school would be out for summer. When school was out he went 2 weeks without getting in trouble for anything. It later came out that three teachers would hold him down face first on the floor when he threw his fits so we figured they did it and was trying to cover their tails……..
We live way out and if anyone is going to come visit they call first to make sure that we are home. Unless it’s the state police or DHS. So anytime we would hear a knock at the door I would get sick and I would throw up. Our daughter used to love knocking and saying someone’s out there because she knew I would get sick. I had to make up my mind that I was letting go of the fear. I had to take control so when she would do that I started saying oh ok…..and I let it go.
Well it’s been a long time and I am homeschooling and that takes away a lot of the manipulation from our kids, but today someone knocked on the door and I started shaking really bad my chest started hurting and I felt like I was going to throw up. I ordered something and I wasn’t expecting it until Friday, but I got it today……..so will it go away……we aren’t supposed to live in fear and I don’t live in fear but it sure hit me today.
II Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.